How to Stop Fighting About Money: A Better Way for Couples To Talk About Spending, Saving, and Security

You’re facing some important financial decisions in your relationship—maybe buying a house, planning for a baby, or paying down debt.

But you can't have these conversations without them turning into blame, shutdown, or shame.

Not only does this cycle feel terrible, but it also derails you from making shared decisions that directly impact your financial future.

You've tried budgeting, reading personal finance books, and opening shared bank accounts, so why are you still fighting about money?

This webinar gives you a better way to talk about money: one where both partners feel heard and valued, and you build more trust and transparency together.

It starts with understanding that money fights are rarely about money. They're about what's underneath. And when you can name it, notice it, and ask the right questions, your money conversations will shift.

Register

What You’ll Take Away From This Webinar:

Understand why money fights keep happening, even when you're both trying
Ask better questions about what money means to each of you, and where that comes from
See your partner's reaction (and your own) with more compassion and less blame
Imagine what it looks like to talk about spending, saving, and risk without it turning into a fight
Walk away with a real next step. Not a “quick fix”, but a path to feeling less stuck in this pattern.

Meet Your Facilitator: Dr. Laura Spiller

Early in my career as a couples therapist, I kept seeing the same pattern: money conversations would quickly turn into blame, shutdown, or shame, regardless of cultural background or financial status.

My clients weren’t just arguing about money, they were fighting about what money represented.

Once I helped couples notice the fight underneath, money conversations shifted. They became less about defending positions and more about understanding and collaboration.

In this webinar, I’m bringing that framework to you, so you can start having money conversations that feel productive, collaborative, and move you closer towards your shared money goals.

LEARN FROM DR. SPILLER

This webinar is for couples who…

Keep having the same fight about spending, saving, or financial security
Feel anxious, judged, or blamed during money conversations
Come from different classes or cultural backgrounds
Have different money habits (“saver” vs. “spender”)
Want to understand the deeper meaning behind money fights

**This webinar is not for couples who…**

Couples looking for financial planning, investment advice, budgeting software, tax guidance, or legal advice.
Relationships where there is active coercion, fear, threats, restricted access to money, or financial abuse. If this is part of your relationship, please consider exploring specialized couples or individual therapy and seek out safety resources here.

The Fight Beneath The Finances: It’s Not About Money

Many couples assume conversations about savings, family support, debt, and financial planning are only about money.

These conversations actually go much deeper, touching upon feelings of safety, freedom, loyalty, power, shame, or fear.

Once you understand the emotional meaning of money in your relationship, you can:

Have calmer, less reactive conversations about spending, saving, and debt
Develop deeper respect for each other’s money histories and styles
Build greater trust and transparency around money habits
Share financial responsibility openly and collaboratively
Make more aligned financial decisions together

FAQ’s about this webinar

Yes. You’ll receive the replay after the webinar and have access for two weeks.
It’s ideal if you and your partner can attend together. However, if only one of you can join, you’ll still be able to start to apply what you learned to shift the dynamic. You can also watch the replay together as a couple.
Not at all. This isn’t about labeling anyone’s behavior as right or wrong. Instead, we’ll explore what your patterns mean to you, based on your history, cultural background, and family upbringing.
Maybe spending connects to feelings of joy, generosity, and freedom. Saving could be tied to deeper desires around stability or due to knowing what it’s like to not have enough.
When you each understand your relationship with money more clearly, you can have less reactive and more productive conversations about money.
No, you will not be asked to share any personal financial details. This webinar is educational and reflective, designed to explore the pattern of communication between you and your partner about money. You can participate privately, take notes, and use the prompts later with your partner.
Practical money tools can help, but they often work better when you and your partner understand the emotional meaning underneath. While this webinar is not a replacement for financial planning, it can help financial conversations feel more useful, which will only help facilitate the practical strategies you put into place.
No. This is an educational webinar. Our facilitator will offer information, frameworks, and reflection prompts, but this does not constitute therapy, diagnosis, or individualized treatment. If you determine you’d benefit from therapy, you’ll receive guidance on how to seek out a therapist who matches your needs.
Yes, as time allows. There will be space for a brief Q&A where participants can submit questions. Facilitators cannot provide personalized therapy in this setting, but can offer general guidance and further resources to explore.

Join with your partner, attend solo, or watch the replay together.

About Heights Couples Therapy

This workshop is hosted by Heights Couples Therapy, a specialty group practice in Houston, Texas, supporting individuals, partners, and families navigating intense lives as they build and sustain relationships capable of weathering life’s storms.

We proudly maintain an anti-racist practice that is LGBTQ+-affirming, poly-friendly, and kink-knowledgeable. We believe everyone deserves loving, fulfilling relationships in any configuration or expression that honors their authentic selves.

Looking for support? Connect with our team here.