When Sleep Comes Between You: How Couples Can Protect Both Rest and Connection

Free Webinar for Couples

Friday, October 16, 2026

12 pm CT | Virtual

When one partner has a sleep disorder (insomnia or sleep apnea), or you have differing sleep needs, you both become exhausted, either physically drained by sleep disruptions or emotionally spent from recurring fights around bedtime. 

Now you’ve stopped going out in the evening and have a highly regimented nighttime routine that has zapped the fun, closeness, and intimacy bedtime held for you. 

One partner feels blamed, the other feels powerless. One feels controlled, the other feels guilty. You disagree on solutions, you worry about the long-term health impacts of untreated sleep issues, and you’re afraid that sleeping in separate rooms (already happening or reluctantly on the table) will create a bigger divide. 

You don’t have to choose between a good night’s sleep and a loving, close relationship. 

This webinar brings together sleep-disorder and relationship expertise to help couples understand both sides of the struggle, help each partner feel less blamed and alone, dispel harmful myths that worsen insomnia and disconnection, and offer a hopeful path forward. 

What You’ll Leave With: 

  • Steps to protect closeness, intimacy, and quality time, even if you don’t have the same sleep needs or if insomnia treatment has impacted your nighttime routines.  

  • Reassurance that a different sleep schedule or separate bedrooms are not an automatic sign your relationship is in danger. 

  • An understanding of the subtle interplay between sleep anxiety and relationship tension, and how addressing this cycle can be a powerful step in improving sleep and connection. 

  • Clarity on which type of issues need a sleep professional, a relationship expert, or both, so you can choose support that will actually lead to more peaceful sleep and a better relationship.

Meet Two Experts With the Shared Goal

How can you protect your sleep and your connection to your partner?

Sleep and relationship experts bring sound advice, but can feel contradictory: what helps one partner sleep may leave the other feeling disconnected, while what strengthens connection may make sleep harder. This question is rarely addressed from both sides. 

You’ll hear from Dr. Liz Ross and Dr. Laura Spiller, who bring two important lenses to the same problem, so you’ll receive guidance to help you get your best sleep and protect your connection with the person you love most. 

❋ Dr. Laura Spiller, owner and clinical director of Heights Couples Therapy, brings her extensive experience helping individuals, couples, and families recognize the roots of recurring conflict. 

❋ Dr. Liz Ross is the founder of the Coping Resource Center, bringing over a decade of experience treating sleep disorders, including chronic insomnia and sleep anxiety. 

This webinar is for couples who: 

  • Are fighting repeatedly about bedtime, sleep, or nighttime routines 

  • Have one partner struggling with insomnia, snoring, restless sleep, or another sleep-related issue

  • Have different or changing sleep needs due to neurodivergence, work schedules, or perimenopause 

  • Are considering or already using separate bedrooms for sleeping

  • Have decreased or stopped going out, having sex, watching shows together, or doing other things they used to enjoy because of sleep struggles or insomnia treatment requirements 

This webinar is not for you if:

  • You're looking for a universal answer about whether couples should share a bed, or proof that your partner is solely responsible for the problem.

  • You're looking for a diagnosis or personalized treatment for a sleep disorder. 

  • You're experiencing concerning symptoms such as breathing interruptions, gasping, or dangerous daytime sleepiness. Those symptoms warrant a medical evaluation rather than a general educational webinar.

Why Addressing Only Sleep or the Relationship Falls Short  

When sleep and relationship problems become intertwined, it can be hard to know where one ends and the other begins. Addressing only one side can lead to:

  • The wrong problem being treated.
    A couple may assume insomnia is the problem when resentment is the larger issue. You may focus on communication struggles when untreated sleep apnea, insomnia, or perimenopause-related changes are driving the distress.

  • Individual solutions that create couple problems.
    Sleep interventions are appropriately designed around one person’s physiology and behavior. But even effective treatment can disrupt shared rituals, intimacy, schedules, or the other partner’s needs, which feeds a new issue to solve. 

  • Bedtime becoming a power struggle.
    You need to use your CPAP.” “You need to stop controlling bedtime.” “Please turn down the thermostat!” What begins as an attempt to protect sleep can become a battle over whose needs matter, leaving both partners feeling blamed, unheard, and uncared for. 

This webinar offers a space where both needs take priority, so you’re taking steps that address the core issue.  

 FAQ’s about this webinar

Heights Couples therapy in Houston TX logo, brown lines on white background.

About Heights Couples Therapy

This workshop is hosted by Heights Couples Therapy, a specialty group practice in Houston, Texas, supporting individuals, partners, and families navigating intense lives as they build and sustain relationships capable of weathering life’s storms.

We proudly maintain an anti-racist practice that is LGBTQ+-affirming, poly-friendly, and kink-knowledgeable. We believe everyone deserves loving, fulfilling relationships in any configuration or expression that honors their authentic selves.

Looking for support? Connect with our team here.

Join with your partner, attend solo, or watch the replay together.